Is there a link between child sex abuse and inability to get orgasms?

A reader asks if her inability to reach an orgasm through vaginal intercourse is due to a horrific incident from her past?

By: Rachel Hercman | | Updated: September 25, 2014 1:03 pm

Q: Hi I’m a 27-year-old female. I was sexually abused (vaginal penetration) when I was 6-7 years old. Now during sex I can’t reach orgasm through intercourse, however through oral sex i am able to achieve orgasm. I have read a lot about how difficult it is for women to achieve orgasm through intercourse and this has left me more confused. My husband is very understanding and does everything possible to help me climax. Is there a possibility of some form of damage to vagina because of that childhood incidence? Please help me. Also Read - High blood pressure may lead to sexual dysfunction in women; Know how to deal with it

The question has been answered by Rachel Hercman, a psychotherapist specialising in dating, sex and relationships. Also Read - Oral sex can increase risk of mouth and throat cancers: It is true?

Dear Concerned, Also Read - Oral sex may contribute to some cases of vaginal condition bacterial vaginosis

You bring up two issues: 1) Having an orgasm through clitoral stimulation but not through vaginal intercourse. 2) Any connection between sexual abuse and orgasm issues.

Most women – whether they have been sexually abused or n0t – do not have orgasms from vaginal intercourse alone and require clitoral stimulation. Thus, the fact that you can achieve orgasm only through clitoral stimulation is common and normal, and it’s wonderful that you have an understanding partner who is eager to please you.

Some victims of sexual abuse find it difficult to orgasm or ‘let go’ even when they are in a safe, healthy relationship, but it sounds like you are able achieve orgasm without inhibition. If you feel that the abuse may be affecting your ability to be emotionally present with your husband, there are many psychotherapy modalities that can help. Things like EMDR (eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing – a king of psychotherapeutic process) , mindfulness and even yoga can assist in centring the mind and finding peace in the moment in front of you.

Sexual satisfaction is very much a mind-body experience and there are many components that affect sexual enjoyment. It sounds like you are okay, but if you think there may be a problem, try to seek out specialists in your area. It can’t hurt to get professional opinions and you have nothing to lose – in fact, you have to much gain, as you will feel empowered in taking care of yourself and working towards higher levels of functioning.

Rachel Hercman, LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker) is a psychotherapist specializing in sexuality, dating, and relationships. She works at the Medical Center for Female Sexuality in New York, a center that provides cutting-edge medical and psychological treatment for female sexual dysfunction, where she helps women improve their sexual functioning, body image and relationship satisfaction.

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Published : July 25, 2013 10:03 am | Updated:September 25, 2014 1:03 pm

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