My vagina is too ‘loose’ says my boyfriend. What should I do?

A 25 year old unmarried girl is told by her boyfriend that her vagina is loose. Dr Vijayasarathi Raman answers this query.

By: Dr Vijayasarathi Ramanathan | | Updated: March 13, 2015 1:29 pm

I have been in a relationship since I was 23 and we have sex regularly. I am 26 now and my boyfriend is losing interest in sex as he says my vagina is becoming ‘loose’. I don’t feel any difference! Is this possible? Could it happen due to masturbation? What can I do to make it tight again? Also Read - Looking for ways to lighten your vaginal area? 5 home remedies you can try

Also Read - This is what you need to do if your vagina feels sore after a steamy session of sex

Answered by Sexual Health Physician & Medical Sex Therapist Dr Vijaysarathi Ramanthan Also Read - 5 myths surrounding the vagina busted

I am glad that you did seek professional advice rather keeping it to yourself.

He told me that my vagina is big and loose – this is a heavy judgment laden sentence told to you by your new boyfriend. How does he know that yours is big and loose? It is well possible that his penis is smaller in girth and so he is not able to feel. It is also possible that you are well lubricated that he could not feel much of a grip (this is especially true if your boyfriend has always masturbated using his hands). Rather than jumping to a conclusion that your vagina is big and loose, you need to be confident about yourself that you previously had a mutually pleasurable sex. To some extent, vagina gets a bit loose after 2 years of sex. What is needed for you now is pelvic floor tightening exercise (Kegel’s exercise) and some medication/relaxation for your mind. There are many vaginal tightening creams/gels sold on the net but I have no recommendation for any. If you think it works and makes you feel confident, go for it (www.shycart.com). Open communication with your boyfriend is important. If he is not able to understand your position and sabotages the sexual experience due to the size, then there are few fundamental issues that you need to clarify/review with your boyfriend. Sex is part of life and in that intercourse is only a fraction of sex. Please do not let a very small aspect of your sex take control of your whole life. Read more about Will a Kegel-training device that helps your penis do push-ups improve your sex life?

Dr Ramanathan completed his undergraduate course in medicine in India before migrating to Australia in 2005. Since then he has acquired three PG qualifications MMed-SexHlth, GradDip-HlthSc and PhD from the University of Sydney, one of the finest and oldest institutions. He has spent over five years (in Australia) researching sexuality and sexual health of Indian men. Since 2009, through his site the SSS Centre for Sexual Health, he has been providing health e-consultations, conducted community-based surveys and built a strong partnership with other sexual health professionals. He has also worked with NGOs and the media to increase awareness about sexual health. He has undergone special training in Health Coaching, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and Counselling. His understanding of Indian sexuality has been recognized by his peers and for a textbook titled The Cultural Context of Sexual Pleasure and Problems which was published in 2012, he wrote the chapter on Indian sexuality. He is the current representative of India and Asia Pacific region on the Youth Initiative, World Association for Sexual Health. He can be consulted on his website.

Click on the image below to find out how to turn your man on during foreplay.

Click on the picture below to view photos on – 9 foreplay moves that will make your man go wild in bed.